Another relatable topic? Check ✔. I kid you not when I say I found “how to stop comparing yourself to others“, “how to stop comparing (idk what) with others“, “how to stop comparing yourself to others academically“, “how to stop comparing yourself to others at work“, “how to stop comparing your child to others“, “how to stop comparing your relationship with others” on Google search results.
If only we spent half the time we spend on social media wishing we had things we don’t need on things that actually matter, so many of us would be happy. To stop comparing yourself is easy, just buy my course for $99! Just kidding.
To stop comparing yourself to others takes time and effort and I will be reminding you of this throughout this blog post. This is because, it is common for you to expect instant results.
If the main reason for you to compare yourself to others is social media, then please get off it! Giving lame excuses to stay on there will do you no good.
Especially if it’s the likes, followers or lifestyle. If you really cannot do that, then the only other way is to leverage it for motivation. It has worked for people!
In this post I will be listing five ways in which you can stop comparing yourself to others. If you want a short answer, then it has to be “throw your phone away and get some skills“.
I say this because, most of the times, we tend to compare ourselves when we have nothing going on for us.
I know it is not necessary that those with something going on for them don’t compare themselves. But if that’s not the case for you, then focusing on gaining experience in work or school helps 🙂
5 Ways To Stop Comparing Yourself
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1. Being Honest With Yourself
I think this is the first and an absolutely necessary step to stop comparing yourself to others.
Confronting yourself and being honest about what aspects make you compare yourself to others and why you do that is needed.
Nobody is perfect and naturally, we all have flaws which usually results in comparisons.
There are times when you didn’t even care about a certain thing and it was only when someone pointed it out to you, you became self aware and started comparing yourself to others.
Whatever the reason might be, being honest about how that friend makes you doubt your abilities or some fitness account makes you insecure or how you can’t stop comparing other people’s lives to yours on social media is important
When you accept that you do compare yourself a lot, half of the problem is solved. This saves you from all the guilt trips you would otherwise take!
2. Understanding The Root Cause
Once you’ve accepted that you have problems and want to stop comparing yourself to others, you should start to introspect a little about why you do so.
Most people don’t bother to get into the depths of their minds and ask the right questions because this means coming to terms with their issues.
You will be surprised when you find out all the silly reasons as to why you started comparing yourself to others in the first place!!
The amount of satisfaction you get after understanding why and how you start comparing yourself is totally worth it! It removes a lot of burden off your back!
This is the healthiest way to be comfortable with yourself and also know that you have a long way to go!
3. Tracking Your Habits
After confronting yourself and understanding the root cause, you can start cultivating habits to change your mindset. Don’t underestimate the power of habit.
By this I mean, whenever you start comparing yourself, stop yourself midway or reflect on it at the end of the day. Doing this should help you find a pattern.
Over the course of time, you will know exactly what affects you and this will help you stop comparing yourself to others.
The best way to track your habits is by writing it down. Get a cute journal or a habit tracker that’ll motivate you to keep at it.
Make sure you go back to that journal every week or so and reflect.
Books
Other ways to help yourself is by reading books. Two of my go to books are Atomic Habits and 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
You can check out my review in my book recommendations post. I highly recommend you read these!
They are easy to digest with practical, doable tips to cultivate habits and track habits. The best part is that they don’t fluff.
In Atomic habits, James Clear talks about cultivating 2 minute habits. Those that are so easy that you’d not feel like missing.
Create a list of 4-5 habits you want to build and use habit tracker to keep yourself in check. This could be no Instagram today, practice 2 minutes of gratitude, declutter your digital space, no comparing yourself to others, etc.
You can use the atomic habits habit tracker. Get the book and habit tracker combo if you’d like.
The best part about atomic habits habit tracker is the one line per day journaling. It comes with the following:
- Habit tracking toolkit: Contains templates for tracking your habits.
- Decision Making toolkit: Has methods for more effective thinking.
- Productivity toolkit: Ideas for productivity and time management.
- Fitness toolkit: Page layout for better health and fitness tracking.
Or if you want to go digital, use the notion habit tracker. All you have to do is go to their website, sign up for free and start tracking your habits.
I recently read this self improvement book by Stephen Covey, 7 habits of highly effective people. The main point that stood out to me was begin with end in mind.
Keeping living my best life in mind, could help you so much when you start comparing yourself to others.
4. Stay Away From Those Causes
The next step to stop comparing yourself is to effectively eliminate all of the things that cause comparisons.
If the main source of problem is Instagram or any other social media, then you already know what to do 😉
If you find it difficult to get rid of social media, read: Social Media is ruining your life and you know it.
There is another post on How to break the loop of constantly checking your phone which has some actionable tips to get rid of your phone.
If the cause of your problems is a toxic friend, you will have to confront them and talk it out.
On the other hand, if you can’t stop comparing yourself to a genuinely good friend of yours, there’s a lot more to do.
Firstly, talk it out with your friend. And also actively talk to yourself about how comparing yourself to your friend is absolutely unnecessary!
5. Re-program Your Brain
This step takes a lot of work. You have to be patient with this one because the results aren’t instantaneous!
Re-programming your brain into thinking that you are who you are and that comparisons will get you nowhere takes time. So, be kind to yourself if you catch yourself slipping.
Most of the times, a shift in your attitude towards things go a long way. Instead of thinking ill about what makes you insecure, you can leverage it to motivate you further!
Remember that this motivation comes from a negative place and that if you want to go a long, you need to love what you put your energy into!
Sometimes fake it till you make it works. But we don’t want to attempt for short term goals. If random people can affect your mood, you definitely want to work on yourself.
Maybe next time you compare yourself to others, stop yourself midway and work extra hard on something you’re good at!
The key factor here is to remember that all of this is a process. And that you can’t stop comparing yourself to others overnight!
There will be times when you fall back into your old habits. But this shouldn’t discourage you from getting back up!
If you found this helpful or have any suggestions or tips on how to stop comparing yourself to others, please feel free to comment them down below!
Also, if you liked this post and would want to see more such content, then be sure to subscribe to join the list!! I would really appreciate your support!!
Last night I actually started writing down some self confidence/self discovery booster tips/ideas, so I can keep myself in check! These are great ideas, so thank you very much! Really much needed, and will keep adding to my list! <3
I’m glad you liked it!!
Most of us do this knowingly or unknowingly. Nice article 👍
Never realised, I was my comparing myself in such manner. New realisations.
We all need this. I’ve been on this journey and my life has been better with less comparing to others. There will always be someone better than us, there will be someone who is in advanced or behind in a journey. There is no point comparing yourself to others. I loved your post, Looking forward to more 🙂
Thank you so much Alita! I’m glad you found it useful.
These are some great tips. When I was younger, I would compare myself to everyone and always felt bad because of it. In the past couple of years, I have learned how to love myself for who I am and stopped the comparison.
Have a blessed day~
Hi Tammy, I’m glad you don’t focus on this anymore. Have a great day!